The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking

by stephen on October 19, 2009

drunk

So you like to drink and smoke.  Who doesn’t?  Smoking and drinking can go so well together that it can be almost impossible for drinkers to go without smoking.  In fact, there are tons of people who only smoke when they drink which costs legitimate smokers thousands of dollars per year in bummed cigarettes.  So what happens if you’re a person who loves to drink every chance you get but would like to quit smoking?  It might sound impossible, but here’s how you can get through it.

Pick a time and a place

drink_at_home

This is not the right place.

What we mean here is that you should follow the same steps you normally would when quitting smoking and plan ahead.  Get your quitting plan together, write down your reasons, set the quit day, throw your cigs away (SERIOUSLY) and then do it.  The only difference is that at least one day after you quit smoking, have a place in mind that you can and will go to drink.  We don’t really recommend bars or clubs.  There are too many people smoking there and once you get plastered you won’t have the strength to resist unless you’re a serious badass.  If you think you can handle it go for it but remember that you will be setting yourself up for pain.  We recommend you find a nice quiet place with no smokers in site such as your house, your girlfriends house, your boyfriends house, or your car.  Now you can commence drinking.

Bring the liquor and bring the rain

alcohol

We forgot to mention this, but don’t plan on driving anywhere.  There’s no question about it, when you start drinking you will want to smoke….badly.  Hopefully you will have endless bottles, glasses, mixers, and anything else you’ll need to eventually pass out because that’s what we’re shooting for here.  Don’t forget, this is the alcoholics guide to quitting smoking.

As you hang out with your company (even if it’s the TV) and drink, you will get major cravings to smoke but instead of planning on walking to the store and giving up, take a shot.  That’s right, take a shot.  It will numb you up quite a bit and keep you distracted for a few minutes.  Nicotine cravings only last about 3-5 minutes so that shot should keep you cool until it goes away.  Proceed in this fashion and every craving that comes up just drown it with a sip of beer, wine, a stiff shot, whatever.  Snacks help a ton here so you might want to keep a steady supply of bar nuts, chips, pizza rolls, or anything you like.  The key is to keep your mouth and mind busy with everything gluttony offers besides a cigarette.   Take your poison, rinse and repeat.

Eventually, you’ll come to a point where you’ll want to fall asleep.  That’s what we were going for here because you’re no longer functioning enough to go buy cigarettes, you don’t have any around, and you’re nearly passed out drunk.  Perfect.  Take another shot, and fall asleep.

The net morning regardless of the hangover you have (if you’re a true drinker it won’t be bad) you can revel in the fact that you got wasted without smoking a single cigarette.  To many drinkers who truly want to quit smoking, they can’t imagine one without the other.  By following the extremely unhealthy steps outlined above, you will prove to yourself that you really can go without smoking and that can give you the confidence you need to stay off cigarettes for good.

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Oh My God! Lets BBQ » Blog Archive » The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking
October 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm
The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking « Beers, Beer, Micro Brews
October 19, 2009 at 2:47 pm
The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking | My Quit Smoking Diary | Quit Smoking Now
October 19, 2009 at 3:12 pm
smoking | SMOKING
October 19, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Quit Smoking | The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking | My Quit Smoking Diary
October 19, 2009 at 5:58 pm
The Alcoholics Guide To Quitting Smoking | My Quit Smoking Diary | Finally! Be free from smoking
October 19, 2009 at 6:40 pm

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Philtron3030 October 22, 2009 at 7:43 am

It takes close to 2 weeks for the heavy nicotine cravings to disappear…using the NASA proven method above, you might want to take some vacation.

When life fails to offer solutions, get drunk.

Reply

Discoball October 22, 2009 at 4:06 pm

I agree. 2 weeks sounds very reasonable.
Are you an ex-smoker? Any recommendation to quit smoking for people?

Reply

nik October 22, 2009 at 7:44 am

Hmm…as a smoker who’s a drinker who’s quitting one but not the other…this really speaks to me.

Reply

stephen October 22, 2009 at 7:47 am

Awesome! It seems like they are inseparable sometimes but wanting to quit smoking and not drinking to me is part of the whole mindf#$#.

Reply

Elsie Erret December 18, 2009 at 8:59 pm

Well-written. Thanks. As someone who has struggled with an addiction myself, I really appreciate what Craig Ferguson has to say about it. Visit my blog if you’d like to read more. Thanks again for this blog – it is really informative.

Reply

Gabriel_Kelly December 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Good article. Very informative one. Thanks for sharing such useful information. It was very helpful for me. It is very difficult to quit from smoking and drinking. But we can reduce those habits day by day only. I heard hypnosis helps in curing such bad habits.

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